From The Chronicle of Higher Education"
New Semester Results in Huge Loss of Life Among Grandmothers
Just days into the fall semester, professors say the excuses for missing class have already begun to flow: food-borne illnesses, fender-benders, roommate squabbles, and registration snafus.
And then there are the grandparents, those poor souls who wander about dead but unaware of it — like Bruce Willis's character in The Sixth Sense — conveniently killed off by college students whose tuition they might even be paying.
One commenter on a Chronicle Forums discussion thread on student excuses suggests sending out warning notices to the old folks: "The midterm exam for [course and number] is scheduled for [date]. This puts your life in danger. We recommend that you get a physical exam before that date and avoid all unnecessary travel until the test is over. Grandmothers are particularly at risk."