Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Assault with a Deadly Hair Removal Gel

Somehow all the rheology news of late is about death and injury. First there was the attempted suicide last Friday using expanding polyurethane foam and now this: a prisoner attacking his cellmate using hair removal gel. While we laugh, that's enough to get you felony battery charges.

Some questions: how did the inmate even get hair removal gel? And was it really worth the risk? It's not as if it was available at the commissary since this is a product that as far as I know is used exclusively by women. [*] If the other inmates knew this guy had the stuff, I can only imagine the taunting he would receive.

If this keeps up, rheology is going to really have a bad reputation, something bad hombres, criminals and thugs. We might need to start a public awareness campaign - "Gels don't hurt people. People do", and "If we outlaw rheology, then only outlaws will have rheology." So can we all try and dial it back a bit and keep our loss and storage moduli safe for our children and grandchildren? Please?


[*] Back in the day when I needed to have my legs hair-free, I used a blade in the shower. It's a good way to kill off a blade as your legs have the equivalent skin area to over a week's worth of faces. Why was I shaving my legs you ask? I used to race bicycles and it was de rigueur. If you dared show up for even the first training ride in the Spring with unshorn legs, the other riders would take turns pulling up next to you and plucking the hair. You only made that mistake once. Which then provides you with the real reason cyclists shave their legs: peer pressure.

And by the way, I just said no to performance enhancing drugs. That choice paid off in the long run as I have recently pulled even in Tour de France victories with Lance Armstrong.






4 comments:

Hair Removal Clinic said...

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Emilie Pedersen said...

I'd probably go for natural and organic products at any given day. A deadly hair removal gel sounds deadly enough.

John said...

Emelie,

Surely you're not implying that "natural" and "organic" are not deadly? I've got some botox (aka botulinum toxin) to prove otherwise.

And I can't go into the lab and make anything as deadly as the ricin that is found naturally in castor beans.

And you do realize that organic-certified bananas have radioactive potassium - all naturally occurring, of course.

Just saying...