Monday, June 05, 2017

Will the Patient Survive?

NURSE: Doctor! The blog! It's been in a coma for nearly 9 months, but it's starting to come to. What should we do?
DOCTOR: Nurse, give it 50 cc's of Ringer's lactate. STAT!
NURSE (looking incredulously): Uhhhh....why? The blog's electrolyte's are just fine.
DOCTOR (irate): Because that's what they always did on "Emergency". Besides, it's just a crummy little polymer blog with no health insurance filled with alternative facts. Nobody will miss it except his mom. (Hi Mrs. Spevacek!) It's not an important one like Derek Lowe's or Chemjobber's. Let it go. If it pulls through, fine, but I'm not spending anymore time on it.
NURSE: You never did in the first place. But I'll show you. I'll care for it and give it love and be the second person reading it on a regular basis besides his mom (Hello again, Mrs. Spevacek). And then someday when it is big and famous, I hope it denies you the plastic for the plastic surgery that you so desperately need for that big ugly nose of yours - the one that you can never find because it is always lodged up the Chief of Medicine's ...{/censored}...

2 comments:

Joe Q. said...

Glad to see you're (sort of) back...

bend said...

Yeah... I've been checking regularly.